The Italian Bank Robber...

A hooded armed robber bursts into the Bank of Italy and


forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash.


On his way out the door with the loot, one brave Italian customer grabs the


hood and pulls it off revealing the robber's face.


The robber shoots the guy in the head without hesitation!


He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him.


One of the tellers is looking straight at him. The robber walks over


and calmly shoots him in the head.


Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.


"Dida anyone elsa see a my face?" calls the robber.




There follows a tense silence. Then an elderly Italian gent, looking


down, tentatively raises his hand and says:




"I tinka my wifa may have caughta glimpse"

Italain Wedding Story

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we
Decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.


My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very
tight mini skirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near
me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.


One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was
alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she
had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once
before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'


I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lord... And behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!


With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our
little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is: 

Always keep your condoms in your car

Mario's Italian lemonade

Neighborhood:
Little Italy/
University Village 1068 W. Taylor St.
Chicago, IL 60607

Mario's Italian lemonade has the consistency of a Slurpee and is like store-bought Italian ices, ''only better,'' promises Dorothy DiPaolo, the current owner's mother. Mario's ices consist of chilled slushlike lemonade, fruit and syrups in various flavors including fruit cocktail, pina colada, chocolate and banana. Lemon is the No. 1 flavor. DiPaolo opened the business in the '50s with her late husband, Mario. The wooden stand is Italian green, white and red, sprouting from the front of a brick rowhouse next door to Jamoch's Caffe. DiPaolo says that when she and her husband opened their stand, there were many stands and pushcarts in the neighborhood. Over the years, most have disappeared. She says customers from many years ago who went to nearby St. Ignatius come back and bring their children. Mario's also sells snacks including snowballs, seeds and nuts, lupini beans, dried chickpeas and candy.