Chicago Mob 360

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Real Italians Know This Humor......




IF BOTH of your parents are/were ITALIAN this is a nice reflection back to the way things used to be...

Per tutta la Mia famiglia e gli amici it amo oggi, domani e sempre

To all my family and friends I love you today, tomorrow and always

42 Things In The Life Of An Italian American Child


01. You have at least one relative who wore a black dress every day for an entire year after a funeral.

02. You spent your entire childhood thinking what you ate for lunch was pronounced 'sangwich.'

03. Your family dog understood Italian.

04. Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents and extended family.




05. You've experienced the phenomena of 150 people fitting into 50 square feet of yard during a family cookout

06. You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals a day, not seven.

07. You thought killing the pig each year and having salami, capacollo, pancetta and prosciutto hanging out to dry from your shed ceiling was absolutely normal. (Wow, that's really Italian!)

08. You ate pasta for dinner at least three times a week, and every Sunday, and laughed at the commercial for Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti day.

09. You grew up thinking no fruit or vegetable had a fixed price and that the price of everything was negotiable through haggling.

10. You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.

11. You thought everyone's last name ended in a vowel.

12. You thought nylons were supposed to be worn rolled to the ankles.





13. Your mom's main hobby is cleaning.

14. You were surprised to find out that wine was actually sold in stores.

15. You thought that everyone made their own tomato sauce.

16. You never ate meat on Christmas Eve or any Friday for that matter.






17. You ate your salad after the main course.

18. You thought Catholic was the only religion in the world.


19. You were beaten at least once with a wooden spoon or broom.

20. You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your hand






21. You can understand Italian but you can't speak it.
22. You have at least one relative who came over on the boat.

23. All of your uncles fought in a World War.



24. You have at least six male relatives named
Tony, Frank, Joe or Louie.

25. You have relatives who aren't really your relatives.

26. You have relatives you don't speak to. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

27. You drank wine before you were a teenager.

28. You relate on some level, admit it, to the Godfather and the Sopranos. I maka a meata ball you can't refuse!.
Forrgetttabbboutit! Badda bing!






29. You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have one patch of dirt that didn't have a flower or a vegetable growing out of it.

30. Your grandparent's furniture was as comfortable as sitting on plastic. Wait!!!! You were sitting on plastic.

31. You thought that talking loud was normal.


32. You thought sugared almonds and the Tarantella were common at all weddings.

33. You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.

34. Your mother is overly protective of the males in the family no matter what their age.

35. There was a crucifix in every room of the house.

36. Wakes would be held in someone's living room.

37. You couldn't date a boy without getting approval from your father. (Oh, and he had to be Italian)

38. You called pasta 'macaroni'.

39. You dreaded taking out your lunch at school
40. Going out for a cup of coffee usually meant going out for a cup of coffee over Zia's house.

41 Every condition, ailment, misfortune, memory loss and accident was attributed to the fact that you didn't eat something.
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Many a Mobster Has Eaten Here ??



The Ultimate Beef !!........

Johnnie's Beef
7500 W. North Ave., Elmwood Park

Hours: Mon-Sat 11am-12am, Sun 12pm-12am

Tel: (708) 452-6000

Chicago is one of the few cities in the country where there are many places to eat great Italian beef and Johnnie's Beef ranks among the best of them. The small beef stand is a perfectly preserved piece of the traditionally Italian neighborhood that surrounds it.

The structure itself resembles an old drive-in eatery, with baby blue walls and yellow neon signs. It is only big enough to hold about ten standing customers at its bar, and seems to have a line that stretches down the block at any time of day. The employees work together as a well oiled machine, though, which minimizes the wait. One worker assembles hot dogs, one spears sausages from the grill, one slaps together the beefs and yet another fills cups with Italian ices (make sure you say you don't want a lid on your ice...that way you get a nice heaping cup of it). Be sure to have your order straight by the time you get to the head of the line; the man who rings you up gets quite upset at indecision or stuttering.


The menu is small, but everything is exceptional. The Italian beef and sausage sandwiches are notably famous, as well as the Italian ices and hot dogs. Every Friday Johnnie's serves up amazing fried egg sandwiches.

Many Chicagoans consider Johnnie's to be the best Italian Beef joint in the world, which accounts for the long line you will usually encounter on your visit. And I will be their this weekend to enjoy one on my visit to Chicago, My home town !!!